01 July 2010

the short book

it's been almost 2 months that i have promised to blog about this funny (yet educational & inspiring) book. i have read this more than two times. (thanks to tatay Denis H. who sent this book to me direct from New York) i want to share this with you.

The Short Book by Zachary Kanin (excerpts)

..tall stories, freakish facts and the long & short of being small in a great big world...

if you're like me, you're short. that's something you deal with everyday, and sometimes at night.
being short is tough. but it's also fun. and strange. and exciting. many of the most important and famous people in the world were short. so, why should you read this book? for one thing, it might make you feel better about being short.

an alternative history of why i am so short:
*God's divine intervention
*you're a genius
*someone used his third wish to make you short
*you are wonderful


the shortest woman:
Lucia Zarate was a 1'8" woman who never weighed more than 5 pounds as an adult. she was born in 1864 in San Carlos, Mexico. she was billed as both "the greatest wonder of age" and the "puppet woman".

the shortest poem:
lines on the antiquity of microbes

had 'em"

- strickland gillian

the shortest chapter in the world:

now that we've put shortness in perspective and we're feeling a little better about ourselves. let me remind you of why you felt bad about yourself in the first place: you love someone who doesn't love you back. just kidding.
no, the reason you feel bad about yourself, about being short, is because of smallotry, or what is commonly known as heightism. people knowingly and unknowingly discriminate all the time against those who are short.
Smallotry (i use smallotry instead of heightism because i made it up) affects us in every facet of our lives.
* does this realy seem like the kind of book that has footnotes? i cant believe you even looked down here. well, now i sort of feeling guilty, like i should at least make this worth your while. um...what would be good...i know. here are four digits from my credit card number, in no particular order: 4, 2, 5, 8.."


everyone only gets one chance at life, and we all have to choose how we want to spend that one shot. if you are short and you're not planning to get your legs lengthened, then you are going to be short no matter how hard you try or strive, or think or cry. what you can control is how you deal with it.

saying the world isn't fair won't make it any more so. taking yourself too seriously will only get you laughed at more. starving yourself will only make you too thin and gorging yourself will only make you too happy.

as corny as it seems, having a sense of humor about your height will help you stop thinking of it as a drawback, and other people will follow the lead. and anyway, if shortness is the worst thing you have to deal with, then consider yourself very, very lucky. at least you weren't born with 6 feets.

so look on the bright side

advantages of being short:

-you can reach things low to the ground
-you can fit in small spaces
-you can stretch out on couches that other people get squished on
-you can make a blanket out of a sweatshirt
-you can make a sweatshirt out of two dirty socks and an umbrella
-tall people are happier for you when something goes your way and they dont even know why
-although it may be worse when you're in the back row at a concert, you can always push though to the front and no one will mind.
-you don't have to bend down in field hockey
-you're less at risk of a heart attack (according to some studies)
-animals fear you (really small ones, that is)
- you don't have to use one of those perky airbags
-pools and shallow lakes are more exciting
-no one looks up into your nostrils unless you pay them too
-a lot of people like you
-you're nice
-you can ride a turtle


sometimes it may seem as if being tall would be the best thing in the world, but that is silly. obviously being able to fly would be the best thing in the world, with singing underwater a close second. think rationally, folks. i hope that is the one thing you come away with.

you can't really do much of anything about your height, so stop worrying about it. in a thousand years, people won't even have height-we will have discovered so many dimensions that humans will be measured in light-years and dark matter. but as long as we're all living in the same planet, remember that shortness has made the world what is today: a sort of okay place with pretty good ice-cream flavors.

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